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03 August 2010 @ 03:15 pm
It's all mine! Bwahaha!  
I feel good. Today was super-slow, so I cleaned and rearranged my office. I've had this job for over two years, and I never got around to removing the detritus of the previous occupant. SO. It is now mine. The only thing I have left to do is clean the drawers.

I will be adding more posters soon. I just didn't like the ones I had available. I don't do appointments, so looking professional is moot, and I've been encouraged to decorate. My boss has Gundam models on her shelves, so I will go by her example.

Someone at work gave me a copy of Rolling Stone with RDJ on the cover. (This is how deep undercover of a fangirl I am. Random coworkers know I'm an RDJ fan.) Inside is a picture of Rubber Ducky Jr. on a grungy sofa, and the story title, "Robert Downey Jr. Hardass, Flake, Superstar. He's Anything You Want Him To Be, And An Iron Man Too." Then you turn the page and it's RDJ in a wet white t-shirt. Omnomnomnom. Should not be having these thoughts at work! Clearly, the author knew precisely who would be reading.

This is proof that I am loved.

I have not been writing. D: This is bad. But Undeleted Tony holds no interest. D: D: D: Writing holds no interest! EEK! So I need Flist to help. Here! A meme!

Never Will I Ever meme: Name three fics you think I will never, ever, ever write. In return, I will attempt to write a snippet of one of them.

Crossposted to Dreamwidths ohnoz!
Tags: ,
Current Mood: chipperchipper
Emre: RDJilluminatius on August 4th, 2010 05:37 am (UTC)
RDJ in a wet white t-shirt

I Googled that image. Oh, the UNF. The cover alone (hot, rugged and with a hint of chest hair visible, guuuuuuuh) is alone to make you go "I'd like to ride that 'til the cows come home. Yeehaaaw!". *cough*

Hm. Fics you'll never write, eh? Well. >=D

1) Tony taking Steve out on a date, and Bucky being all overprotective and asking Tony what his intentions are.

2) Asgard receiving an Extreme Home Makeover.

3) Jan redesigning Steve's uniform to something...different. Preferably including fishnet stockings and lots of beads.

Okay, so you'll maybe write one of these, but I couldn't think of anything better. ._.

*is now imagining Steve in Black Canary's outfit*

(I know that I'm not on your flist, but I just couldn't help myself)

(Damn LJ for giving us non-paying users an edit option)
tsukinofaerii: Weird in the 90stsukinofaerii on August 4th, 2010 04:16 pm (UTC)
Wired (1)
Gotta be honest, I am not a fan of chest hair. But RDJ manages to not resemble carpet, and so it works. But really, I kind of want to blow up the wet-shirt picture and stick it on my wall. It's a thing of beauty. :D

Hmm. I am not very up on Winter Soldier, and post-Dark Reign is really too fresh to run with on comedy yet. Number two. Erm. I may be the only person on the internet who doesn't watch Extreme Home Makeover. So! By default, door number three!

Which will apparently have to go on two comments. I may have gotten carried away.


Steve twisted to look in the mirrored wall behind him. Obligingly, it angled itself to show him his backside more easily. It was covered. Sort of. No matter what Jan said, he wasn't really sure fishnet Wiring counted. "I don't know about this."

Jan lounged on the airfa, kicking her legs under the floating cushions as if it were an Old Tech swing. "You're the one who wanted to look upgraded." Metal fingernails clinked against bracer-implants as Jan crossed her arms and drummed her fingers. Each tap changed their color to a slight different iridescent color, cycling through the spectrum. Mr. Stark had programmed it for her, and she never missed a chance to play with it.

"This isn't upgraded," Steve corrected her. "This is... I'm not sure what this is." Leather. Lots of leather, in his trademark blue. Nothing new there. He wasn't used to having flash panels showing off his assets, though. His left rear leg panel was nearly completely exposed, showing off where he'd had to repair himself on the field once, back in '44. The mix of scar tissue and welding looked strange, covered by false fishnet Wiring.

False wiring made sense; if it were real, it would break too easily. But Jan had included so much that was just decorative, it made him feel strange. The beading along the seams was completely useless—his programming wouldn't process the data input for new ports. His back didn't even have the fishnet to hide it, showing the blue-silver of his spinal implant, from nape to hips, though the spine didn't have any reason to be exposed. Even his cowl had been changed, needlessly hiding his eyes so no one could see that they were still Organic.

At least she'd left his chest-piece visible. It wouldn't be a Captain America uniform without the star implant in sight. Technically, it was functional even covered, but he'd never gotten used to that part of modern fashion.

"It's as close as you'll get without letting Tony actually Upgrade you." Foam squeaked as Jan toppled sideways and stretched out, the airfa racing to stretch and catch her in time. "I don't know why you don't let him. He's a genius."
tsukinofaeriitsukinofaerii on August 4th, 2010 04:16 pm (UTC)
Wired (2)
Just the thought made Steve shudder. He might have been decades out of date and badly in need of an upgrade, but allowing an Organic to play with his programming? No matter how talented Stark was, there was no way he could understand how good wiring was supposed to feel, how it was supposed to move with the organic. And for some reason the man refused to be wired at all, which just proved how he couldn't understand. Why would a man who loved tech so much resist being wired?

Now, Iron Man was someone with dedication and first-hand knowledge. Steve was pretty sure he wasn't organic at all any more.

"You know why," was all he said, refusing to look over at Jan. She would be frowning, but he didn't care. "I really don't think this works. It's too inoperative."

"Fine." Jan huffed and snapped her fingers. The holo faded away, leaving Steve back in his usual bodysuit. Mirrored walls shimmered, returning to their usual wallpaper. "Maybe Tony will have ideas for something external to work into it. Will you accept that, or do you not even want an Organic's work near you?"

Now Steve turned to glare at Jan, who just yawned. "You're not being fair." He'd drawn his line in the sand after the way his childhood wiring had been botched. Unfortunately, no one else had the knowledge to work with Steve's specific model. He was too unique, and it was too risky. So he went without, and tried to fix himself when he could. Jan knew all of that.

"Neither are you." She stared at him mildly from the airfa. Her eyes changed to match her nails, Steve noticed. His spinal implant crawled at that. Vision was so delicate, eye implants were almost unheard of, and she'd let Stark play with the color. "Organics aren't bad people. Just because you had one bad experience—"

"It's not the same as working on it yourself," Steve insisted. "At least a Cyber could hook up to me. Stark would be flying blind. Excuse me for not wanting to wind up in a scrap heap."

"Tony's never left anyone for scrap, and you know it." Jan flicked her feet, and her shoes dropped to the floor, vanishing when they hit. "I have better things to do than defend Tony's honor from your stupidity. When you're done being scared to upgrade, give me a call."

"What are you—"

"End program."

Jan's holographic projection vanished, leaving Steve alone in the room. Snarling curses under his breath, he ran his hand through his hair and fell backwards. An airfa materialized and caught him just before he hit the floor.

What did Jan know? She hadn't even been a year old when her Basic was done, and it had been only one operation. It hadn't been drawn out over six painful weeks, or ruined because the Integrator couldn't hook in to see that the muscle impulses weren't being read right until it was too late to fix, because hookups had been stigmatized as unsafe. Hadn't seen her mother, or anyone, die from faulty wiring.

Jan would get over it, Steve decided. Not understand, but she was bad at grudges. He just had to wait it out.

He was good at waiting.
Emre: Tony Stark (I am Iron Man)illuminatius on August 4th, 2010 05:06 pm (UTC)
Re: Wired (2)
Gotta be honest, I am not a fan of chest hair. But RDJ manages to not resemble carpet, and so it works. But really, I kind of want to blow up the wet-shirt picture and stick it on my wall. It's a thing of beauty. :D

To each his or her own, of course. For me, it's a turn-on, but only if it's not really dense and whatnot. Chris Evans, Hugh Jackman and Ryan Reynolds are perfect examples of hair gone right. Unf.

You should do that. No reason not to.

Number two. Erm. I may be the only person on the internet who doesn't watch Extreme Home Makeover.

Haha, darn. I really wanted to see this. It would be hilarious.

What an awesome story. Is this an AU you have established earlier, or did you come up with it just now? Either way, it's very interesting. I never thought of cyborg!Steve. I'd really like to see more of this verse, if it exists. =D

You go, Jan. Defend that Organic.
tsukinofaeriitsukinofaerii on August 4th, 2010 05:29 pm (UTC)
Re: Wired (2)
Thank you! :D This one is off the cuff, mostly, and all by its little self. (pets it) valtyr and I have bounced around ideas for a sexswap cyberpunk dystopia (which I frequently try to prod her into writing), but those were really very different ideas. This 'verse is less dystopia and more advanced sci-fi.
Emre: Tony Stark - Dungeon Fantasy.illuminatius on August 5th, 2010 10:14 am (UTC)
Re: Wired (2)
You should write more stories for that verse. *nods, but doesn't know why* It's interesting and would make for some great reading.

Most vulgar and indecent rime: Smoochiescursor_mundi on August 6th, 2010 01:19 am (UTC)
Mmm. OK!

1) A fic centered around Steve--not Tony!--saying the following, and remaining in character: "How of all of the online options did I pick this one, Blinkie the Japanese Face-Fucker?" (Guess what link I followed before commenting, lol!)

2) Steve discovers he cannot stand the taste of apple pie. America implodes in horror. Reasons for this dislike (new, old, alien-imposed, etc.), and methods of implosion are your choice.

3) A serious crossover with Twilight; Steve and Tony are human. The sparkly vampires are still sparkly. They...uh, I guess they save the world? Must be taken seriously; parody, mockery, etc. are too easy and are not allowed!
tsukinofaeriitsukinofaerii on August 6th, 2010 03:10 am (UTC)
ANBFA;KLKDSAJJ YOU PICKED HARD ONES D: And now my pride in my art demands I write this. At least snippets.

Number 1 is the hardest, I think. :\ Could be managed, but would take some serious plot... I suppose Brainwashed, Mind-controlled or Drugged Steve would be cheating?

Two is easy! Apply pregnancy. Ta-dah. :D

>_> Could Number 3 be Twilight 'verse OCs, instead of actual characters? Because I only know enough about Twilight to mock it, and, really, putting Badass Marvel Women in the same room as Could Die Of Terminal Papercut Bella... someone's going to get smacked. My pride in my art only goes so far.
Most vulgar and indecent rime: Gothcursor_mundi on August 7th, 2010 04:49 pm (UTC)
For 1.--yes, brainwashed, mind-controlled or drugged is cheating!

2. You go, girl. Your first mpreg? :D Lint and Loopy wrote me Steve mpreg for my birthday last year, it was fantastically cracky.

3. There are many characters out there besides Bella! You could develop underdeveloped characters, such as Edward or Seth or whatshisname, Aro; for awesome ladies there are Alice and Rosalie, Tanya, etc. Mind you, Carol could take Bella under her wing to make her grow a spine, but working Steve and Tony into it might be tricky.
tsukinofaerii: omg onoztsukinofaerii on August 9th, 2010 02:33 pm (UTC)
Re: Challenge!
Going with number two, and keeping it short! D: This one is too tempting, when I have other things I'm supposed to write! D:

Background: Supernatural AU. Or some sort of AU anyways. (Prequel to Betwixt?) Jessica Jones is a werewolf, and was injured in such a way that she can't carry her pregnancy to term (though the baby isn't in danger yet). Because of Applied Phlebotinum it's possible to transfer the pregnancy, but because the baby is a werewolf it's too dangerous for most people, and werewolves tend to be too territorial to find one to help. Enter Cap. Hilarity ensues. (Yes, I did just come up with an excuse for Surrogate Mother MPreg. :P )

Steve stared down at the pie, poking it with his fork. It was perfect. The crust was golden, without any soft or charred bits, the apples were just crisp enough without being raw, and the filling wasn't too sweet. Better pies rarely crossed his plate.

The smell of it turned his stomach. For extra emphasis, the baby kicked her displeasure as well, squirming and twisting into a hard ball in his stomach. If he hadn't known the full moon was a week away, he'd think she was transforming in there. At least she didn't have claws yet.

It was his birthday party. The whole Mansion was filled with friends, acquaintances, and people with cameras that Tony had insisted on inviting. Jarvis had gone out of his way to make Steve's favorite dessert by hand, when it was hard for him to be physical long enough to roll out pie dough; it would be rude not to eat it. He'd take one bite, tell Jarvis it was good, and then see if he could talk Peter into eating it for him. Everyone would be happy. He could do it. One bite. It was just a dessert.

Even though it was ridiculous, Steve felt like everyone was staring as he cut a bite with his fork and popped it in his mouth. It exploded across his tongue like a sewed bomb. Before he could catch himself, he coughed and gagged, forcing himself to swallow it down.

Someone snapped a picture in the silence.

Wind made the candles flicker, and Tony appeared by his elbow from wherever he'd been before. "Steve?"

"I think the baby doesn't like apple pie," Steve confessed quietly, pushing the plate aside.
Most vulgar and indecent rime: Legs!cursor_mundi on August 9th, 2010 08:36 pm (UTC)
Re: Challenge!
*seal clap* I admit, "werewolf baby AU surrogate mpreg nausea" was not on my casual list of "what can I snooker 'Faerii into writing," though it will be from now on!

Also, lol, intangible butler for the win!
tsukinofaeriitsukinofaerii on August 10th, 2010 01:39 pm (UTC)
Re: Challenge!
XD For me, the fun of writing old tropes is "how can I do this in a new way". :D And Jarvis is technically dead, I think. I would have to reread Betwixt to be sure.

What wait you have a list of things you can snooker me into? D:
Most vulgar and indecent rime: errorcursor_mundi on August 10th, 2010 04:27 pm (UTC)
Re: Challenge!
Maybe there is a list in my head of things that I would love to see you write. Maybe.